Sorry seems to be the hardest word ... or maybe NOT

It has come to my attention recently that we, as a nation, say sorry A LOT. I first noticed this whilst I was standing on a platform at a train station. A little boy, maybe five years old, said to his mother, "I'm sorry, mummy." Being a nosey eavesdropper, I listened in. Now, it is not particularly unusual for a child to apologise to his or her parent if they have, say, dropped their toy or had an 'accident'. In this instance, given the boy's lack of years, it was mature of him. However, his mother responded with a laugh and a, "why are you saying sorry? you haven't done anything wrong!" He then went on to apologise again, and, as his mother was an admirable mother (and not one to tell her child to shut up whilst continuing to puff on her fag and text her friends), she knelt down to him, gave him a cuddle and repeated that he hadn't done anything wrong, and that he was a silly sausage (or something to that affect). It was a two-minute exchange, which turned my ears on to the sheer quantity of 'I'm sorrys' that seem to erupt from people's mouths.

Another example was on Masterchef: The Professionals recently. One of the chefs had made an astonishingly beautiful plate of food, and Greg Wallace and Michel Roux Jr. were singing its praises. What would be a natural reaction to this good news? Indeed, a big, broad smile. Which he did with great gusto. Yet the chef felt compelled to apologise for his smiles! I can imagine he felt a bit foolish, grinning like a Cheshire cat, but it may also have been because the directors had told him to look moody and angst ridden during the taste test (which he also did very well), but Greg responded with, "don't apologise for smiling". Indeed, don't.

I also noticed a huge amount of apologies flying around whilst commuting. Be it from apologising for stepping on someones toes, to bumping into them, or to trying to squeeze past them along the train. Not unusual. That is being polite. But I also noticed that apologies regularly come from the other end, the receiving end: people apologise if someone bumps into them, or if someone steps on their toes. Which I think is just weird, and something I also do. Is this out of politeness? or maybe it's because it is a chance to interact with someone, anyone, during a long, boring and silent train journey, where everyone stares glassy eyed into the middle distance, refusing to meet your eye. Just a thought. 

A forth and final example is when I went to stay with my friend this weekend and I tripped on the stairs (entirely my own clumsiness) and very slightly grazed my knee. My friend apologised for having stairs! Was she serious? No, not in this instance, but it was a little bit touch-and-go for a minute.

My moral of this piece is: don't apologise unless you mean it (do you really mean it? no? don't say it, just learn, where applicable, to be a nicer person) ... unless, of course, if the law demands you to apologise, then ... do it ...